Learning how to practice Heart Coherence

 

For two weeks now I have had the pleasure of practising Heart Coherence thanks to being introduced to it via a wonderful new 12-week course I have started.  Since I have been doing this practice I have seen my life blossom in so many ways. My joy, optimism and creativity are palpable.  And this is in such a contrast to where I was for the previous few months.

It’s fair to say that this winter was quite a dark one for me.  My mum underwent rather radical treatment for cancer but, thankfully, is now calling herself a cancer survivor.  However one of my dearest friends was not so lucky.  After a very brave and stoical battle, she lost her fight to a very rare form of cancer which only affects one in six million people.

Despite my spiritual, self-care and kinesiology practices, I could not keep myself up.  I was diagnosed with depression but that diagnosis never really felt apt.  I just felt overloaded, super stressed and embroiled in a very deep grieving process.

I have always been opposed to many forms of traditional medicine so I staunchly chose not to medicate with antidepressants.  Instead, I chose kinesiology plus counselling.  I can’t say that the first counsellor helped very much but then I chose another one who was so much more in alignment with my own personal values and beliefs.  This was the beginning of my path back to emotional wellbeing.

What has taken me to beyond just feeling good to feeling like life really is something special is the practice of Heart Coherence.  It’s such a beautifully simple and quick process.  It only takes three minutes.  Here’s how it goes.

Sit yourself down, close your eyes and take three deep breaths.  Put two fingers of one hand in the centre of your chest.  Think about events or picture images of things which truly give you feelings of joy, gratitude and appreciation.  This can be as simple as imagining the sun on your face.  Now put your whole hand on your heart and sit with these feelings for three minutes.  When you’re ready, give your toes and fingers a bit of a wriggle and open your eyes.

This practice was developed by the good folk at the HeartMath Institute. Check out this video by them on YouTube. <iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/QdneZ4fIIHE” frameborder=”0″ allow=”autoplay; encrypted-media” allowfullscreen>

I’d love to hear about your experiences of doing Heart Coherence.  Please share below and shout out if you have any questions.

A heart shape cut out of bushes.
Practising Heart Coherence has changed my life.

Much love to you from me,

Anna xxx

 

 

The Gifts in Heartbreak

 

 

 

It’s fair to say that I know a thing or two about heartbreak.  Not just the romantic kind but also the potentially bruising heartbreak of not achieving what you’ve got your heart set on. But all of this involves looking for external validation.  As the sages say, what we seek we already have within us.  Mystic Persian poet Rumi writes, “You wander from room to room looking for the diamond necklace that is already around your neck.”

As you probably know, in emotional pain there is an opportunity for both suffering and opening. Suffering often involves the agonising of going over everything in your head, wondering what would have happened if only you did things differently.  I know, I’ve been there and it’s really not a fun place to be. It can also be the dashed dreams of what you thought your future looked like.

Opening means softening into the pain and letting your heart crack wide open to let the light in.  And through illumination, we see our gifts and the meaning of the lessons. Some of the lessons I have learned is that I am precious even if I have let myself be treated otherwise and that I can be strong and capable on my own.  One other huge lesson was that I couldn’t have a successful relationship with someone who has no love for himself.

Does softening into the sensation mean that you will feel no pain?  Heck, no.  Heartbreak is real and sometimes it feels that it’s going to snap you in two. But don’t try to resist it.  Flow with it.  Let the pain wash over you.  See where you feel it in your body and soften into that.  Don’t try to judge it.  Just let the sensations be.  When we don’t rate our sensations as either good or bad they are free to be and also to move on.

Also, be very gentle with yourself.  Don’t listen to well-meaning people who tell you to just “buck up” or that you should be over it by now.  Grieving is a real process and generally, it takes quite a bit of time.

And ask yourself, “What’s the learning in this?  What are the gifts? Could this heartbreak be an opportunity for you to rediscover your strengths or even your self? Could it be teaching you how to stay in alignment?

I love helping women with issues relating to the heart.  Whether it’s a relationship problem or an issue to do with self, it’s always an honour to help people gain more peace and clarity.  Contact me if you feel I may be able to help you too.

Much love, Anna xxx

 

 

Going gently with your rage

Thanks to Pinterest

I remember clearly the first time, when I was a new mum, that I heard another new mum mention how she sometimes felt rage.  I was quite taken aback to hear her talk openly about the rage she sometimes felt while parenting.

Rage and parenting

Surely rage was something we should not be feeling after fulfilling our long and dearly held wish for a baby? And if we did sometimes feel this very real and visceral emotion, isn’t it something better kept to ourselves?

I can honestly say that I had not noticed feeling rage before I became a mum, nearly 10 years ago. I remember being quite shocked at this realisation.

I was the person, who waited 18 years before my dream of becoming a mum came true.  I then thought that everything would just fall into place, easily and peacefully.  Little did I know that my very idyllic and naïve view would come crashing down around my ears.

So there I was, a new mum, with an angel in my world but I often feeling overcome with intense feelings of heartbreaking loneliness (as a sole parent), despair, frustration and sometimes even rage.

Recently I listened to a most excellent interview with Ruth King on Sounds True’s, Self Acceptance Summit. With much wisdom, grace and personal experience, King spoke about the Six Disguises of Rage.

She described how rage is lodged into our bodies back when we are children.  It belongs to the Amygdala and Limbic part of the brain which is sometimes known as our primitive brain.  This is where survival emotions such as Fight, Flight and Shrink (most people know it as Freeze) are embedded into our psyche.

Fight

King spoke about how there is both a dominance and defiance disguise within Fight mode. Dominance exhibits as wanting to control our lives, so we are never controlled.  One harsh lesson of parenting is that despite our best intentions, life with a newborn is uncontrollable.  You can lovingly feed, change and nurture your baby but he or she still may howl for hours.

The defiance disguise of Fight mode displays as belligerent, outwardly angry behaviour.  You use anger to divert your need for love.  This is a true cry out for love.

Flight

In flight mode, the distraction disguise is when you fill every minute or your life with things to do.  King uses the example of needing one more black dress or one more scoop of ice cream.  Incidentally, this is where addiction occurs. Since becoming a mother I have had my own struggles with a sugar addiction but am thankfully now free of that.

The devotion disguise of Flight is the person who takes perfect care of others but doesn’t attend to their own needs.  These people are very much longing for what they are giving.

Shrink

The dependence disguise of Shrink mode is to deny your own personal power, and in the fear of losing someone, you then play it small.

The depression disguise of Shrink is to shut down to avoid feelings of overwhelm and to try and keep things tight and controlled.  I know that I have done this in my parenting journey.

According to King, these six disguises keep people under control because they are too afraid of the true expression of their rage.  However, “Rage holds the body in hostage,” explained King.  The deeper roots of rage are sadness, grief,

Moving mountains with your rage

and any other unfinished stuff waiting for us to love it into transformation.

King advises for us to get to know our “rage child.” She does this by dropping the story and going inside the body with our attention.

As a kinesiologist, this is what I call emotional embodiment.  King also says that we can ask ourselves, “What are the beliefs about the issue?  Am I feeling all alone?  Is this true? Do I need to rest or give myself some compassion?

Through my work, I am honoured to help women process and shift their emotions through embodiment. If you feel like you need some help with your less than positive emotions, please give me a call on 0416 733 834.

Much love,

Anna xxx