Most of my forgiveness practice has involved various men in my life.  Not my father or any male relatives but my partners.

I was with my first partner for 16 years.  For most of those years I was yearning to start a family.  He kept saying, “not now, not now.”  I was not confident enough to say, “Actually, this is too important to me.  I respect your wish to delay having a child but I need to fulfill this dream, so I’m out.”  Instead I was thinking who else would want me and that all good things come to those that wait.

I was kind of right on the latter.  I did eventually get what I was dreaming of, a beautiful child, but I waited for what seems to be a ridiculous amount of time: 18 long years.  Far out, some of those years felt like torture.

When waiting feels like torture


So what happened in those years of waiting and wanting to start a family?  I started feeling resentful.  I also often grieved when I began my period even though we were using birth control.

Eventually I left the relationship.  I felt that if I had stayed I would somehow drown or lose myself completely.

The interesting thing was that as soon as I left, all resentment and anger toward this man, who kept telling me to wait, just disappeared.  I did not even feel like I needed to have forgiveness for this man.  He was honouring his needs and now I was honouring mine.

I was finally doing what I needed to do, moving more freely in the direction of my dream. I had an open heart.  That in itself is truly empowering.

Forgiveness equals freedom

On the 5th of October I am beginning a 40 day group practice of forgiveness called Free and Fearless.  If you would like to join us, please click here: https://www.canva.com/design/DAEELBiolsQ/W51aWrHo8BiZIHZgflTXEw/view?utm_content=DAEELBiolsQ&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=sharebutton

From my heart to yours,