Yesterday I set myself a ‘letting go’ challenge. The reluctance to let go has been on an ongoing theme in my life (relationships past their use by date, stepping out with my light blazing etc). The challenge was physical but I felt it had far reaching consequences.
Every Tuesday I take my kids to an indoor climbing and trampolining centre. While my daughter does aerial cadets training (fancy name for trampolining), my boy quite happily scampers up 5 metre tall walls and stepping poles, lets go of the wall and peacefully floats back to earth.
The first time I tried this a few months ago I could quite easily climb to the top of the wall but when faced with the letting go, I just couldn’t. Instead of floating down, with a sweating, extremely adrenaline fueled body and pumping heart, I just climbed down again. I did not feel great about that but it seemed an easier option than the terror of letting go.
Yesterday, before I even got to the climbing place, I set myself the intention of embracing the act of letting go. So there I was metres above the ground poised to let go of the wall and just float back down. And you know what, I still couldn’t do it. I then asked staff what’s the easiest way to just let go and he replied, “Just let go.” Still not so happy or confident, I held on. It was when he said he’d count for me and that I could release my iron grip on the wall on “three”, that I finally managed to do that. The letting go was still terrifying for that split second before I felt the beautiful tension of the rope engaging as I started to drift down. The downward descent was so sweet. I wish it went for an hour.
Inspired to master this act of letting go, I kept climbing and descending. Did the letting go get easier? Not really, but I kept doing it anyway. In the words of the Australian vernacular, “I had a go.” Good on me. xxx
